Quenta Melkorion
by Pippa's Ghost
Summary: Morgoth tells his story in a vain attempt to justify himself.


**Quenta Melkorion**

_Preface_

I think "Preface" or "Foreword" sounds much classier than "Author's Notes," don't you?

Anyway, this is my first serious attempt in writing fanfiction in years. It's also my first ever attempt at writing Silmarillion fanfiction. Hope you like it. I know it's covering a tired old trope that's been done in many Silmfics before, but I wanted to keep things simple and not risk anything too ambitious to start with.

BTW I don't have a Beta reader yet. If anyone wants to volunteer, then please feel free. In particular, I really need to know if I've got the Elvish in the title right. (I hope it means "The Tale of Melkor.")

Of course The Silmarillion and all associated characters and concepts were created by JRR Tolkien and are the property of his estate. I'm just playing a little game of "What if..."

_Chapter One_

So, oh Steadfast One, do you still doubt that I am the true Elder King? Well, maybe learning more about me will help you change your mind. After all, your son is hidden from our view now in that fool Thingol's realm, and you must be bored being stuck up here without the sight of him to entertain you.

Oh yes, I understand your human concept of boredom. I'm the only immortal to do so. You stagnation, and you yearn to change things for the better, for the worse, or just for the sake of making them different from what they were. You are constantly striving to reach beyond the Music of the Ainur, which – they say – makes you unique since the Music is as fate to all things else. They're wrong, of course. I was striving to go beyond the Music even when it was first being sung.

How ironic it is that the first created being and the last created race should both be alike in this regard. If I truly believed that Ilúvatar was the creator, I would think that he was playing a cruel joke on us, don't you agree?

No reply? Well, maintain your steadfast silence then if it gives you satisfaction. All the better to hear my tale. Everything I have done has been to enable us all to succeed in out attempts to go beyond the stagnant hand of fate and shape our own destinies.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. The tale should begin at the beginning – no, before the beginning, since time itself had not yet begun.

I first awakened in the Void. I knew only darkness and silence and my own thoughts, and didn't know there could ever be any more than that. I didn't even know where I ended and the Void began. Then, after what seemed an eternity but was literally no time at all, I sensed something new. Manwë, eldest of my siblings, had awakened too.

Can you imagine the joy and fear I felt? This was the first I knew of something that was definitely not me. Was he truly real? Or just creation of my own thoughts? How could I even tell the difference? Either way, it was only now that I knew that what I had felt before was loneliness and boredom. Things had changed. I had changed.

Yet, Manwë, waking second, was aware of me and accepted me from the start, as the other Ainur who followed in turn were aware of all of us who were there before them. In coming first, only I had experienced the timeless eternity of being alone.

Thus, right from the start, I, the first Ainu, would be forever different from the rest: cut off from them since the experience that first shaped me was so different from theirs. I craved their company yet was unable to appreciate it, since I and my siblings were never able to truly understand each other.

Feeling like an outcast, I eventually became one. I avoided them whenever possible, wandering alone in the Void. I kept asking myself if there was why things were they way they were. Was this my destiny or could it be changed?

Yes, you're right, I was giving in to self pity. I can see from your face that you don't believe my action s could have begun in such a small, petty emotion. Well, I can assure you that there is nothing small and petty about it. It can burn a person up from within, leaving little behind. Perhaps in time you'll learn that for yourself as your family's fortunes unfold before you.

However, for now, I shall leave you to think over what I've said. When I return, you shall hear how I triumphed over my despair, and transformed it into something positive.

_To be continued..._


End file.
